CFU 116: Stop Self-Sabotage with Techniques Learned From a Hostage Negotiator, with Paul Nadeau

Khierstyn’s guest for this episode of Crowdfunding Uncut is Paul Nadeau, skilled hostage negotiator and the person who is going to revolutionize how you think about stopping self-sabotage. He takes his knowledge of negotiating with people in crises and applies it to personal and professional situations, giving you the best chance at finding success and happiness in your own life. It’s an episode that is going to help you advance your career, find fulfillment, and learn how to prevent your subconscious from sabotaging your success. Don’t miss this insightful and inspirational episode.

How are hostage negotiations and business transactions connected?

Paul transitioned from his background in traditional police force work into hostage negotiations because he learned how to communicate persuasively with people – a skill that is necessary for any business environment. He frequently takes people who have reached the end of their rope and renegotiates a situation into one where everyone is given the best chance to succeed and find peace. These scenarios were not approached with an inflated sense of bravado and an abundance of pre-formed answers to the problems at hand. Rather, he followed a refined process that always kept the human factors in mind. On this episode of Crowdfunding Uncut Paul explains to Khierstyn that you can’t judge a person before you get into the situation and identify all the details. You must then ask them, “What is it you want? What is going on with you right now?” Making that personal connection with an individual (hostage or potential client) is key for the interaction to be successful. They must know you, like you, and trust you in order for any solution to succeed. Taking your time, having empathy for the individual, and working together towards a solution works for hostage crises and business interactions. Paul draws on his extensive experiences to offer you a great explanation as to why these two seemingly separate scenarios are linked, and it’s something you don’t want to miss.

The first step in stopping self-sabotage is learning how to recognize your own self-worth

Paul and Khierstyn are adamant on this episode of Crowdfunding Uncut that every individual is worthy of success, happiness, and fulfillment. These wonderful things only come after recognizing your own self-worth. In order to stop self-sabotage, you must take the time to recognize the areas of life that you are struggling in, identify the conscious and subconscious thoughts that are holding you back from succeeding, and eliminate those thought patterns. Khierstyn explains that reality is often 100% contradictory to what your subconscious is telling you. If you take away the bars that are caging you in, nothing can hold you back. For more great advice on learning how to recognize your self-worth, be sure to listen to this podcast episode.

Don’t let the negative defining moments in your life create a belief system that dictates your future

Everyone has those moments in our pasts that resurface and tell us we’re not worthy of happiness or success. Paul explains to Khierstyn that there are two ways of handling these moments in retrospect. You can choose to believe that the terrible thing that occurred was your fault, and because of that, you are not worthy. Or you can choose to understand that terrible things happen, it was not your fault, and that you don’t have to internalize it and let it define your future. Essentially, you can choose to be a victim or a survivor. The most important moments in your life are the ones that are happening right now, and Paul and Khierstyn want you to recognize you are worthy of enjoying these moments. Don’t miss the rest of their conversation on this episode of Crowdfunding Uncut.

Your past does not define you, your future has not yet been written, and you are worthy of success and happiness

Perhaps the biggest takeaway from this episode of Crowdfunding Uncut is the fact that there is nothing separating you from success. The other people that you admire and view as successful are no more worthy of that success than you are. Paul explains that your past does not have to define you, you can learn how to renegotiate situations to your benefit, and that your future has not yet been written. You CAN stop self-sabotage, you CAN pursue personal and professional success, and no one can dictate how you choose to feel or react to situations in your life. This podcast episode is sure to make you rethink how you approach your past, present, and future, and it’s one not to be missed.

Outline of This Episode

  • [0:53] Khierstyn introduces her guest for this episode, Paul Nadeau, skilled hostage negotiator and believer in self-worth
  • [4:49] Paul’s journey from police work into a hostage negotiation specialist
  • [10:04] Scenarios where Paul’s negotiation and persuasion skills become essential
  • [14:15] The predictable selling environment vs. working within hostage situations
  • [19:00] The challenge of getting people to open up
  • [24:06] The first step in stopping self-sabotage, utilizing hostage situation skills
  • [31:38] There is nothing separating you from success!
  • [35:12] Don’t let the negative defining moments in your life create a belief system that dictates your future
  • [40:50] Life is about the process, not the outcome
  • [43:54] Paul shares how you can get a copy of his new book
  • [46:18] Paul’s famous last words for “unhostaging” yourself

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Paul Nadeau

Connect With Khierstyn

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